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Hi.

Welcome to my blogs. I document my adventures in family, fun, and menopause - from two sides: sentimental, and just mental. With "The View From the Minivan" you'll find that life should be laughed at, and I hope you find a smile.  With "Fbomb Mom Blog" you'll find my f'n mental take of the same content I sapped about in the first blog.  It's my "Eat Pray RANT" at the universe.

Sixteen Year Olds Should Be Extinct!

Sixteen Year Olds Should Be Extinct!

When you are living with a sixteen year old, you haven't entered the Jurassic Period, it's the Backbreaker Period. Every single snarky thing you ever said to your own mother is flying out of this sixteen year old's mouth, dripping with sarcasm, and you so wish you had just one meteor you could throw at her so nature could take it’s course.

Do you know what my adorable little T-Rex said to me the other day?  "Can I give you some constructive criticism?  You are a terrible driver."  Really?  Coming from a kid who has not even gotten a permit to drive, let alone a license, and who has never been behind the wheel of a vehicle???  And what part of that was 'constructive'?  (It doesn't matter that it's true - I did have to get a Jeep to handle all the curbs I run over on right turns), who is she to drop this sweet jesus jewel on me?

I wish I could post a pic of how my T-Rex leaves a bathroom.  It's like a hurricane was interrupted by an electrical storm all inside a ticket blaster while bouncing from wall to wall trying to leap out of this quantum .  It really is remarkable.  I know who to call when I need to destroy any evidence of human existence.

But she's my little T-rex!  It's just that she's trapped inside sixteen, and it's so horrible!  I don't know how to help her or reach her or remember that I used to looooove her!  She leaves a trail everywhere of food she ate, soda she drank, plates she used - I know, I should cut her a break, it's hard to pick things up with those tiny T-rex arms.  The kids says she wants to be a forensic scientist - you'd think she'd be better at covering her tracks around here!

340 days of sixteen left.  I hope I survive.

 

  

An Open Letter to Parents in my Fourth Kid's Class

An Open Letter to Parents in my Fourth Kid's Class

Two Please in a Squad

Two Please in a Squad